The Kindness Factor

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”  Dalai Lama

Kindness–like compassion–is an emotion that takes up residence in the heart. Offering kindness to another is in our nature and it’s something that feels good to both the giver and the receiver. Even just a little bit of kindness can greatly improve the quality of our lives. So what is it that prevents many of us from showing our “kind side” as we move about in our day?

We may think about being kind to others, but we won’t be able to offer genuine kindness to anyone if we don’t have an abundance of it for ourselves: “You can’t dip from an empty bucket!” We may also think that being nice is the same thing as being kind, but there is a noticeable distinction between the two. Oftentimes, when we are trying to be “nice”, there’s a hidden motive attached to our acts–whether we’re cognizant of it at the time or not. With kindness, that simply doesn’t exist–there’s no hidden agenda.

“Perfect kindness acts without thinking of kindness.” Lao-Tse

Kindness can be made a habit by consistent practice–just like anything else we repeat enough times. Since we are habitual creatures, it’s good to note what our well-ingrained habits are and see if it’s in our best interest to keep or replace them. We might consider if what we do habitually really contributes to our ability to be the best version of ourselves as often as possible. Truth is, we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge.

Genuine kindness comes easily when we are sensitive to our internal voice–our intuition–that guides our natural impulse to be loving, caring beings. If thoughts of criticism and judgment roll around in our mind often, being kind will not feel very natural or authentic.

We may also find it difficult to think kindly thoughts if we often feel the need to protect or defend ourselves against someone who is being mean or unfair. To truly see beyond this perception, we must be willing to put aside petty grievances and remember that the person who doesn’t appear to deserve our kindness is precisely the one who needs it most.  When someone is in fear or emotional pain, they often act in a manner that makes it difficult for us to respond in kindness.

If we allow the negativity that seems to be at an all-time high these days take up our attention–rather than listening to our own hearts–we may become hardened to the world around us. We need to censor what we listen to and read so we don’t become discouraged and lose our sense of shared humanity. It’s so important we remember that we are all in this together, and then act like that’s true (because it is!). Try passing kindness around wherever you go and see what a difference you can make in your corner of the world.

Simple acts of kindness are a great way to “pay it forward.” It gives us a love boost and rewards us many times over. Have you ever noticed that a simple, unsolicited compliment from someone sticks like glue long after it’s been given? Or how good it feels when a person you don’t know asks if you need help with something or just offers you a hand when you need it the most?

The feelings we get from being kind to another is a healing balm to our own hearts. Being kind has the ability to open up our world to one beyond our ego’s false sense of self-importance and give us something real and lasting to pass around . . .

“Be Kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”  Dalai Lama

 

Fear-Proof

There are certain topics that are deemed inappropriate for polite conversation: death is certainly at the top of the list. In fact, talking openly about it in our Western culture has for generations been labeled “taboo”; we’re taught to avoid this unpleasant subject if at all possible. If you’ve been afraid to “go there”, even in the privacy of your own mind, then this is your opportunity to go with me down that “road less traveled” and nip that unfounded fear in the bud!

If you’re curious about what it might be like in the hereafter, you’ll find many published stories from those who’ve gone to the other side (AKA, Near Death Experiences) but returned with a brand new lease on life: these fascinating, well-documented cases have grown in numbers over the last decade. They all have a similar message for us and are happily shouting it to the world: Death is a beautiful transition into our limitless Self (our Source nature) . . . and there is nothing whatsoever to fear! So, if that’s true, then why not take that information to heart and spend your days living fearlessly?

The emotion of fear–no matter the origin–dissipates when faced head-on, when we shine the light of truth on it. As FDR famously wrote in his first inaugural address, the “only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. If we don’t deal with our fears, they’ll actually gain the upper-hand, dictating how we live. In other words, in an effort to avoid feeling fear, we then do whatever it takes to keep that emotion from surfacing. What we end up creating is a life that is definable, controllable and predictable, giving us an illusion of safety. (That doesn’t leave much room for exploration, enjoyment or going-with-the-flow, does it?) The irony here is that in suppressing our fears, we become imprisoned by them.

There are many reasons why you might fear death. You may be quite attached to the physical body and your persona, ego-identity, believing that that’s all there is–that it’s who you are. Or maybe you’re attached to the people in your life and the thought of you losing them–or vice versa–causes fear and pain. But perhaps the biggest reason just might be more about the process of dying; no one wants to suffer through it. There is a feeling of relief when someone we love passes away while sleeping or that it happened so quickly they didn’t have time to suffer; that’s what we all want, isn’t it? But we don’t need to wait until we make our transition to stop our own suffering and RIP; we can do that right now, using our minds.

“It is truly a great cosmic paradox that one of the best teachers in all of life turns out to be death“, as Michael Singer writes in his life-changing book, The Untethered Soul. He goes on to say that “while someone could tell you that you are not your body, death shows you. While people can teach you that men and women of all races are equal and that there is no difference between the rich and the poor, death instantly makes us all the same.”

Death is not only a great equalizer, but it also reminds us to appreciate life while we’re here. The reality is that from the moment we’re born, our days are numbered . . . so why not make each one count?

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Author Unknown

My friend, Julie . . . now an Earth Angel

Holiday Hoopla

Well, it’s that time of year again . . . a time for gift giving, Christmas tunes, feasting on food, sweets, and partying it up–and yes, it’s also time for that yearly family gathering that often includes some old-fashioned drama!  But, no matter how we choose to honor the season–with some holiday hoopla or on the “down-low”–this time of year has its own unique way of affecting our hearts and minds.

Why does the holiday season have such a powerful effect on us? Perhaps it just gives us permission to bridge the gap, to free ourselves from intolerance and separation, judgment and criticism and share authentically with others. It does seem to be easier this time of year to be generous, open up in loving ways to each other, because we are encouraged to do it in our society as the “right” thing to do.

The holiday season is stressful in many ways, but it also has the ability to bring some peace into our lives as well: We may be behaving badly–disrespecting ourselves and others throughout the year–but then the spirit of the season magically transforms our hearts, making good little boys and girls out of us all!

This may not be “the most wonderful time of the year” for everyone, as the famous song touts. If we’ve lost a loved one, if we don’t have family or friends to share the holidays with, we may feel isolated and alone, sad or even depressed.  And if one happens to suffer a trauma or a tragedy occurs around the holidays, this joyous season may have the reverse effect and become “the most dreaded time of the year”, serving as a yearly reminder of the pain we experienced.

We are conditioned to feel differently around the holidays, from the time we are very young. Even if we don’t formally celebrate Christmas–as my family didn’t–our mindset changes from all the Christmas cheer that surrounds us. It seems to be easier to lighten up, see life through child-like wonder because we are flooded with enchanting music, beautiful decorations and colorful light displays that can be simply entrancing.

May you feel the love and peace in your heart this holiday season, my friends, and continue to live “The Spirit of the Holidays”, even after the season ends on the calender. . .

Happy Holidays, Happy Life, Merry Everything to One and All!

‘Tis Our Fate

One thing we all have in common with every other living being is that some day our physical bodies will not be able to sustain life anymore and we will make our transition: this is the fate that awaits us all.

What we choose to do with our lives–the legacy we leave behind–is all that remains “ours”: No material things–our bodies included–ever belong to us.  At the end of our life cycle we will know our Truth; whether we’ve lived in a way that made our journey a wonderful adventure. If we do have any regrets, they probably won’t include not working hard enough or not having collected enough stuff: Remembering what’s really important will help us keep everything in perspective while we’re here.

I am writing this post in honor of a very dear friend who has added so much to my life over the past 12 years–helping me in more ways than she even knows. Over this last year, she has been going through her own life changing event with the diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer. She is one of the bravest people I know, even while going through some intensive chemotherapy that has taken her down to levels that she has never been before. She is a teacher to her core and my hero, exemplifying how to really be present to life, letting go of what is not important and focusing on what is; love and appreciation for everything and everyone. Knowing what my friend is going through helps me remember how precious life is and that how we choose to live each day is all that matters: making what we did in the past or what may happen in the future moot points.

This is not just about my friend or me, though: This is about us–all of us. If we don’t wake up every day and realize that there will come a time when we will not be able to touch, smell, hear, feel and be with those who are dear to us, we may miss out on living our best life: facing all of it with an open mind, loving heart and fearless spirit. We can make our life a comedy–or a tragedy. We can remove the mask of pain and be free . . .

Life is too serious to take it seriously!

No Matter How You Slice It . . .

. . . Life is an Equal Opportunity Experience!

Every one of us has been given a mind by The Divine that we are free to use however we choose: we’ve always had free will!

We have equal opportunity to:

Create a life by our own design.

Make new choices anytime we want.

Free ourselves from the prison of pain and the illusion of fear.

Pursue what we want to be, do or have.

Love unconditionally, compassionately.

Take responsibility for ourselves and our creations.

Stay Present to what is and dream of what can be.

Create heaven on earth.

Be free of poverty consciousness and live abundantly.

Do our best every day and be free of the judge in our head.

Stop being a victim–period.

No matter how you slice it, Life IS fair:

You will, however, need your Spiritual Eyes open to see that!