Plato theorized that reasoning originated with the brain, but that passions originated in the “fiery” heart.

By the time we reach adulthood, we’ve all been flooded with information on how to keep our hearts healthy through proper nutrition, stress management, exercising and changing some bad habits: whether or not we follow the advice on a regular basis is another matter entirely!  Heart-healthy tips are available all day, every day, from healthcare practitioners, nutritionists and fitness gurus and through every type of media possible. Even though so much good information is offered that we can safely take to heart, there seems to be one rather large missing piece of the puzzle that isn’t given the “press time” that it’s due . . . and that is, the tremendous impact our mental and emotional well-being has on our health in general, and our hearts in particular.

Heart disease is something we’d like to avoid and certainly most of us try to do some of the things that are recommended to keep from becoming a statistic. But if we are ignoring negative feelings, holding on to anger, resentment or the pain of our past, or living in a state of depression, do we really expect that our hearts will be able to stay healthy and strong over the long haul of a lifetime?

Isn’t it feasible that a heart attack could happen to someone who attacks their own heart with a steady diet of negativity? Could it also be possible that hardening of the arteries occurs more often in a person who has become hardened, inflexible, blocking joy and love from flowing freely through their hearts? If we are in the habit of self-rejection, we’re setting the stage for our bodies to eventually play out that scenario in one way or another. . .

• There are a myriad of ways we contribute to the deterioration of the integrity of the cells of our body . . . and it seems rather obvious that allowing negative energy to smolder over the years is a sure-fire way of interfering with homeostasis–the body’s natural rhythm and ability to maintain balance.

We use the word “heart” in our every day language to describe various emotional states: But what we may not realize is that we’re actually feeling these words, experiencing their physical equivalent, in our bodies. For instance, doesn’t the absence of a loved one really make our “heart grow fonder”?  How about when we are feeling good and having fun, don’t we truly experience the effects of being “lighthearted”?  And to the contrary, when we are in the darker emotions, can’t we also feel ourselves being weighed down, “heavyhearted”?

See how many of these sound familiar:

My heart’s desire–the heart of the matter–I’m heartbroken–he’s coldhearted or warmhearted–she has a heart of stone–in my heart of hearts–you are always in my heart–she gave a heartfelt speech–you broke my heart–my heart’s not in it–listen to your heart–spoken from the heart–with all the love in my heart–a heart-to-heart talk–my heart belongs to you. . .

If we can hear our hearts talking to us–giving us messages–then it only makes sense that this most vital organ is also capable of listening to our words, taking what we say “to heart”.

It’s quite apparent that the heart is more than just a fist-sized muscle that weighs around 11 ounces as it beats at the rate of 100,000 times per day, 3.6 million times per year—nor is it merely just a symbol for love: It is the place we can truly call our “home sweet home” because . . .

Home is where the Heart is!

What’s the deal with lying anyway? Why do we feel the need to lie, even when it not only isn’t beneficial to anyone, but is actually detrimental to our own happiness, health and well-being? Perhaps one of the most common reasons we fib our way through life is that we’ve become accustomed to hiding behind self-limiting beliefs that are always based in lies.

I recently heard about a study that concluded how most of us more readily lie in a text message than in any other form of communication. I don’t know the details of this particular study, but it makes sense that in a text it is easier to “speak” with fewer words, more abbreviations, than we do even in an email and we don’t have to be concerned about our facial expressions and body language giving us away. I guess the motto that was indelibly marked in my mind while growing up–”honesty is the best policy”–is indeed so yesterday!

So is a “little white lie” just a polite way of avoiding honesty . . . or could it be that there’s something much deeper going on that isn’t so innocent after all?

If we tell someone what we think they want to hear–making assumptions–what we’re really doing is attempting to control them so we can avoid feeling something we don’t want to feel, as well as denying them the opportunity to take responsibility for their reactions and gain self-awareness. There is a difference between trampling on someone’s feelings, though, and telling the truth as we see it: we can practice compassion even when we’re being honest, saying what we mean and meaning what we say.

Here are a few reasons we lie:

• We fear being laughed at, criticized or judged for our opinion.
• We don’t believe we have the right to our own opinion.
• We need approval from others.
• We fear getting into “trouble”.
• We want to avoid conflict.
• We want to protect someone because we think they “can’t handle” the truth.
• We don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings and suffer the consequences.
• We measure our worthiness by what others think of us.
• We want to hide something we’re ashamed of.

If we can’t face the truth or don’t feel we have the right to do what’s best for us, it may seem “normal” to lie: We become experts at rationalizing, minimizing and justifying our need to lie when we have low self-esteem and/or little self-confidence. And if lies do easily roll off our tongue, then it speaks volumes about how we habitually lie to ourselves in our own minds. When we’re used to telling so many little white lies that we don’t even bat an eye doing it, we must begin exercising our “telling it like it is” muscle to change this pattern: the more we use it, the stronger it becomes.

So the next time you’re tempted to fudge the truth, just remember this classic line from The Castaways 1965 hit song:

  “Liar, liar, pants on fire. Your nose is longer than a telephone wire . . . “ 

Perhaps it will inspire you to change your tune!

A great way to free ourselves and clean up our environment every day is to apply the wisdom from one of my all-time favorite books, “The Four Agreements”, written by Don Miguel Ruiz. The Toltec teachings are the basis for these truly simple concepts, but applying them isn’t necessarily easy: We must commit to mindfulness and persistence if we want to make them second nature.

The following is a simple synopsis of each of the Four Agreements as I have come to know them. If you have already read the book, this will serve as a great reminder of what they will do for you. If you haven’t yet read this little nugget, perhaps now you will feel inspired to do so.

The first agreement– Be impeccable with your word:

This is the foundation for all the other agreements and therefore, the most important one. Your word is the power that you have to create. Use the power of your word in the direction of Truth and Love. Never use the word against yourself and don’t gossip about others. Cease spreading emotional poison to anyone. Being impeccable means to live “without sin”and the greatest sin of all is self-rejection. Never allow the voice in your head to convince you that what you have believed about yourself–what your belief system dictates–is the Truth. If you follow this agreement, you will be free to create Heaven on Earth.

 The second agreement–Don’t take anything personally:

This agreement helps you break the many lies you have believed in. Nothing others do is because of you. Every one of us projects our own reality, and dreams our own dream: We all live in a world of our own making in the virtual reality of our mind. Don’t react to what others project onto you and suffer emotional pain. Practice this agreement and you will have immunity from the opinions and actions of others. You will no longer be the victim of needless suffering.

 The third agreement–Don’t make assumptions:

Assumptions create a world of illusions. Conflicts are based upon making the assumption that you know what anyone else is thinking.  The sadness and drama we create is rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally. Be courageous and ask questions. Find your voice and ask for what you want. Express yourself clearly and ask for clarity from others to avoid misunderstandings that lead to pain and suffering.

 The fourth agreement– Always do your best:

Don’t give the voice of the belief system the opportunity to judge you. Don’t allow the judge in your mind to make a victim out of you. Sometimes your best will be better than at other times, depending on your emotions. The first three agreements will only work if you do your best. You will not be able to do it perfectly, but when you know you are doing your best, you will not punish yourself over and over again: you will be free to move on.

“True freedom has to do with the human spirit–it is the freedom to be who we really are.”   Don Miguel Ruiz

What does the word “respect” mean? According to one dictionary, it is:

1. A feeling or attitude of admiration and deference toward somebody or something.

2. consideration or thoughtfulness

If we aren’t being treated respectfully by others, then we first need to change how we treat ourselves: self-respect elicits outer-respect. The challenge is to recognize when we are treating ourselves with disrespect so we can change our behaviors: these familiar patterns bypass our consciousness much of the time because they just feel “normal”. So, with that in mind, I offer you the following:

We are disrespecting ourselves when:

We fear speaking up, telling our truth.

We allow others to take control of our lives.

We are inauthentic–saying Yes when we really want to say No.

We abuse our bodies with over-consumption and over-indulgence in any way.

We don’t support our body, mind and spirit with “proper” nourishment.

We knowingly put ourselves in harm’s way.

We stay in unhealthy relationships–ones we’ve outgrown or are abusive.

We suppress or deny our creative nature–our talents and desires.

We downplay our accomplishments and achievements.

We’re not impeccable with our word–speaking negatively about ourselves.

We never think we’re good enough–no matter what we do.

We compromise or conform to obtain approval from others.

We take things personally–making what others project onto us, about us.

We make ourselves a victim in life–blaming others for our choices.

We ignore our own inner guidance/intuition, doubting ourselves.

We play small in the world so we don’t appear boastful.

We put ourselves last on the list, making others more important.

We sacrifice our own welfare to “make” someone else happy.

We won’t be able to reach our full potential without self-respect because it equates to feeling worthy. And, as the Queen of R&B Aretha Franklin puts it:

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T,  find out what it means to me”. . .

Now that’s some sage advice worthy of consideration!

]]> http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/r-e-s-p-e-c-t/feed/ 2 saraleesays http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/2011/12/31/real-ize-your-resolutions/ http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/2011/12/31/real-ize-your-resolutions/#comments Sat, 31 Dec 2011 16:36:35 +0000 Sara Lee Payne http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/?p=4255 ]]> Have you made some New Years Resolutions for 2012?

When we make resolutions in the New Year, we do have good intentions about keeping them (for the most part anyway). If we have the belief that New Years is the time to start something new or make some positive changes in our lives, it is easy to feel motivated and take action, seizing the opportunity for a “brand new start”.  But what frequently happens is that we too easily lose our enthusiasm and those good intentions just fizzle out–sometimes only days later–along with our resolve. So how do we stay focused and keep the momentum going until we reach our goals–making changes that stick?

To REAL-ize Your Resolutions, try my  10-Simple-Step-Formula for Success: (Caution: use at your own risk!)

1. Examine your desires and set a goal: Meditate on the following questions: Why do I want it? What is my motivation for it? Is it really for me or to please someone else? In what ways will my life change when I have it?
2. What do you believe about it? Do you have faith that you can achieve it? Pay attention to how you feel. If you feel good, then you are headed in the right direction. If not, then reexamine and rework it until you do feel good about it.
3. Are you putting frequent attention on the achievement of it? Formulate new thought patterns that support your success. Create a story in the “virtual reality” of your mind that includes the end result; how your life will be when you’ve achieved it.
4. Leave the past where it belongs: Your past has no power to sabotage you, only your thoughts do. Don’t compare to any previous attempts or “failures.”
5. Act AS IF it’s already yours: You will see it when you believe it. Daydream–imagine with feeling: when it feels real–like it’s already yours–it is on its way to becoming your reality.
6. Look for the signs of manifestation: Perception is reality. . . Notice when things begin to change and focus on even the smallest signs. Celebrate every bit of it and more will show up: what you focus on expands!
7. Relax your way into the new you:  Stop struggling with details. Line your thoughts and energy up with your goal and wait for the inspiration–listen for inner guidance–before taking action.
8. Let go of all labels: Free yourself of negativity, doubt,  judgments. Don’t ask for OPO (Other People’s Opinions), trust yourself. Use supportive and encouraging words. Don’t allow seeds of doubt to be planted in your mind.
9. Practice Mindfulness, live in the N.O.W (Not One Worry): Pay attention to where you’re putting your attention. Stay Present and breathe deeply, using C.P.R. (Calm, Peaceful, Relaxed) as anchor words. Focus on loving and appreciating yourself and life.
10. Cultivate a new Consciousness and an Attitude of Success: Notice what you learn about yourself as you expand: the beliefs that have been running you will become apparent. Have fun with the process and enjoy the journey: Remember that your only job is to focus on what you want and let the Universe handle the details!

Persistence beats Resistance . . . Success is a gradual progression toward a predetermined goal . . . Repetition creates the Master. . .♥

Why does the holiday season have such a powerful effect on us? Perhaps it just gives us permission to bridge the gap, to free ourselves from intolerance and separation, judgment and criticism and share authentically with others. It does seem to be easier this time of year to be generous, open up in loving ways to each other, because we are encouraged to do it in our society as the “right” thing to do.

The holiday season is stressful in many ways, but it also has the ability to bring some peace into our lives as well: We may be behaving badly–disrespecting ourselves and others throughout the year–but then the spirit of the season magically transforms our hearts, making good little boys and girls out of us all!

This may not be “the most wonderful time of the year” for everyone, as the famous song touts. If we’ve lost a loved one, if we don’t have family or friends to share the holidays with, we may feel isolated and alone, sad or even depressed.  And if one happens to suffer a trauma or a tragedy occurs around the holidays, this joyous season may have the reverse effect and become ”the most dreaded time of the year”, serving as a yearly reminder of the pain we experienced.

We are conditioned to feel differently around the holidays, from the time we are very young. Even if we don’t formally celebrate Christmas–as my family didn’t–our mindset changes from all the Christmas cheer that surrounds us. It seems to be easier to lighten up, see life through child-like wonder because we are flooded with enchanting music, beautiful decorations and colorful light displays that can be simply entrancing.

May you feel the love and peace in your heart this holiday season, my friends, and continue to live “The Spirit of the Holidays”, even after the season ends on the calender. . .

Happy Holidays, Happy Life, Merry Everything to One and All!

Many books have been written about the power of our thoughts by some very well-respected experts including Deepak Chopra, Ernest Holmes, Napoleon Hill, Gregg Braden, Don Miguel Ruiz and Wayne Dyer; these teachers have much to say about the science of the mind and how our thoughts create things.  However, no one is suggesting that thinking positive thoughts is all we need to do to bring about the results that we want, in some magical way. . . that would be akin to saying that all we need to do to defy gravity and fly is to jump up into the air over and over again! There’s nothing that we can do that will trick the Universal principles into ignorance: these laws are immutable–they work 100% of the time, whether we acknowledge them or not.

Perhaps we’re under the impression that “positive thinking” is synonymous with speaking our own truth–or that when we use positive affirmations repeatedly they will automatically bring about their physical equivalent.  Whatever we believe to be true will be created as our reality and no amount of saying “I am healthy and am now healed” will go anywhere if our conscious mind doesn’t accept it as at least a possibility. 

We don’t always know what we believe; that is for sure! But all we need to do is to pay attention to what we have manifested, what we’re experiencing as our reality, and trust that it is an accurate reflection of what beliefs we have in our subconscious, programmed mind.

The truth is, “You will see it when you believe it.”

And that, my friends, is the bottom line!

]]> http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/what-do-you-think/feed/ 0 saraleesays http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/fail-safe/ http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/fail-safe/#comments Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:44:01 +0000 Sara Lee Payne http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/?p=4148 ]]> A facebook friend recently posted something on her wall that I found quite interesting . It happened to be a very simple question: “What would you do if you knew you could never fail?” The comments she received were varied in nature, but they all were overwhelmingly imaginative. That got me thinking about why we wouldn’t pursue what would make our lives an amazing adventure–why we would settle for mediocrity rather than go after our dreams.

Failure is a just an idea, a concept, that we often use as an excuse to stay in our comfort zone: If we believe we don’t have what it takes to get what we want, then we are setting ourselves up to be a failure in our own eyes. The world may be filled with people who haven’t succeeded in achieving exactly what they set out to do, but does that mean they they’ve failed?  I’ve heard it said that most millionaires have lost it all at least once along the way to becoming rich. What does that say about the idea of failure to a successful person . . . Does that word even exist in their vocabulary?

Maybe everything we experience are mere stepping stones to success to the one who doesn’t believe in failure and forges through the challenges: “Success is a gradual progression toward a predetermined goal.” In this definition, success isn’t the end product but rather the process, the journey along the way.

If we have a belief that we will fail, that no matter what we do it won’t be enough (because we don’t feel that we are enough), then we won’t acknowledge any successes we do experience.  It has been determined that many of us are more fearful of success than we are of failure. As the famous Mandela speech declares, ”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us”. . .  Perhaps one reason we “buck the current of our desires” is the fear that becoming successful would bring more changes in our life than we believe we could handle.

If we attempt something and it doesn’t live up to our expectations–or to the expectations of someone else–we may interpret that as “failing”. However, the way I see it, the only we could ever fail is if we don’t take a risk, if we don’t at least  give it a shot.

“Success is seldom achieved by people who contemplate the possibility of failure.” William Feather

We’re hearing more and more these days about newly discovered ”risk factors” associated with our physical heath. Do you ever wonder how they come to the conclusions, figure out the details, of what they present as scientifically sound evidence?

There are so many mitigating factors that can cause our health to be compromised that it would seem nearly impossible to come to any conclusions at all! So, the question becomes this: is our attention to the risk factors presented creating the diseases because we believe they are real? 

We are not just a physical body: We are emotional beings at our core and the state of our emotions is always reflected in the physical.  Holding on to anger, resentments, grudges and regrets do put us at risk for struggling, poverty, illness/disease and a life filled with suffering. . . Perhaps a closed heart poses the greatest risk to our health when all is said and done.

RISKS

(Author unknown)

“To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place ideas, your dreams before a crowd, is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. the person who risks nothing may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. Chained by their certitudes, they are a slave; they have forfeited their freedom. . .

Only a person who risks is truly free!”

Take a Risk  and Dive into Life!

Thank you, Ariel, for the honor and the nomination: http://arielkprice.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/im-a-versatile-blogger/

Versatile: adj. able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities

There are three simple rules to the Versatile Blogger Award. They are as follows:
1. Thank the person(s) who shared the award with you by linking back to them in your post.
2. Pass this award to 15 recently discovered blogs and let them know that you included them in your blog post.
3. List 7 things about yourself.

So, here is my list of 7 things about me:

1. I love to sing. I used to sing in bands, as a soloist in different venues, recorded original music in studio and for years, had my heart set on making it in the industry.
2. I am the baby of my family–the last of 5 (3 brothers, 1 sister) and was a tomboy growing up.
3. I am looking forward to turning 60 on my next birthday and am rather enjoying my gray hair.
4. I learned the art of beekeeping (my ex was in the business) even though I was deathly afraid of bees at the time.
5. I was a hippie, had hair past my waist for years and lived in a commune (with the same ex) when I first moved to AZ from MN in 1975.
6. I am a rebel against society’s rules–like to do things my own way–and have proudly passed these qualities on to my children.
7. I gave up red meat in 1975 and eat mainly a vegetarian diet.

So, that does it for my list. I’m working on a list of bloggers as required and will post those soon. (It appears I’m rebelling a bit at the rules I’m supposed to follow!)

Now, a few words in closing:

I appreciate all of you who follow my blog and comment on my posts. I want to address any subject that matters to you, so please let me know. You can always email me, if you don’t want to write on my blog: gaeawellnesscenter@yahoo.com

Until next time . . .

My 59th birthday with my "peeps"!

]]> http://saraleesays.wordpress.com/2011/11/06/the-heart-of-the-matter/feed/ 4 saraleesays My 59th Birthday with Friends